Food & Drink

The Best Lobster Rolls and Coffee Shop Sex Dungeons of 2016

It’s Been Quite a Year. This Proves It.

By Kevin Gray ·
Some will claim that 2016 was a year to forget.

Others will look back on the year fondly, because their selective memory will focus on the very best that 2016 had to offer.

Put us in that latter camp, mostly because of marshmallow crossbows, copious lobster rolls and one very curious coffee shop sex dungeon.

In that spirit, we humbly present the Best of 2016: Food and Drink Edition, wherein you’ll find the aforementioned items alongside some very important pancake lasagna, Sir Paul McCartney’s personal margarita recipe and other examples of hard-hitting journalism.

First up...

We met a real live coffee shop sex dungeon.
Oh, Portland. Thank you for giving us this coffee shop that doubles as a sex dungeon, complete with lattes and “play spaces.” An entire city’s morning coffee runs just got a lot more interesting.

We drove great distances for lobster rolls.
If you’re going to drive around the Northeast Coast, you’re going to need some sustenance. Ideally in the form of lobster rolls, so here are eight of the best places to find them.

We cured hangovers with pancake lasagna.
One mad scientist of a Los Angeles chef is making a layered “lasagna” of pancakes, sausage, eggs, cheese, bacon and maple béchamel. New Year’s hangover, you’ve been warned.

We saw more ink than we needed to.
Did the world need to see Gucci Mane’s ice cream face tattoo and learn that Cara Delevingne has the word “bacon” scrawled on the bottom of her foot? No. But did they want to? Hard to say...

We plunked heads with flying marshmallows.
Office warfare and afternoon hot chocolate breaks have been forever changed by this crossbow, which shoots delicious projectiles up to 60 feet.

We unearthed Paul McCartney’s margarita recipe.
Plenty of reasons to like Sir Paul. The latest is his penchant for requesting a very specific, very potent in-flight margarita.

We chased down the roadside burger stand.
A good roadside burger joint is hard to find these days. But it’s not impossible. Case in point, this ode to 10 of the finest examples still remaining on American roadways.

We saved lives. Well...
No, but we did round up some of the most nefarious bar and restaurant trends plaguing society today. Things like $14 avocado toast and menus touting organic, fair-trade, sustainably farmed, cage-free, gender-neutral coffee beans.

We ate breakfast like Olympic champs.
Throwing a good javelin and nailing a dismount are still works in progress. But eating like a gold medal winner... now that’s within everyone’s grasp.

We proposed the next great presidential ice cream.
Hard to believe that a short 11 months ago, the biggest problem facing our nation was whether to commission a pint of Hillary’s Private Soft-Serve-r or Trump’s Make America Grape Again...

Kevin Gray lives in Texas. He likes whiskey, weekends and hammocks, often at the same time.

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