Entertainment

The Best of UrbanDaddy Las Vegas 2016

Old Fashioneds, Fast Cars and Glass Dragons

By Sam Eichner
We can only hope Vegas blesses us with as many world-famous Japanese chefs, Porsche 911 GTs and cool places to purchase taxidermy boar heads in 2017 as it did in 2016...

But, as this year so clearly (cruelly, painfully, ugh-ly) showed, nobody can predict the future.

So instead of directing our focus to the year ahead, we’re taking a gleeful moment to look back, in a feature we’re dubbing the Best of UrbanDaddy Las Vegas 2016.

Memory lane has never contained this much booze...

You watched in awe as bartenders barrel-smoked espresso-infused Campari right in front of your eyes.
While you and your date munched on mini lobster tacos in a heavily curtained den at the Cosmopolitan.

You and nine lucky friends entered the Vault Room.
And didn’t leave until you’d had your fill of fine stogies, spicy pork rinds and Pappy Van Winkle.

You drank from a smartphone-programmable LED bottle of vodka.
But you never let that distract you from the phalanx of sexy lingerie-wearing go-go girls vying for your attention.

You practiced your golf game, took a swim and saw a concert, all in one place.
We may or may not have left out the part about you gambling and eating pork-belly-and-peanut-butter-topped burgers as well. (Okay, we did.)

New York’s Beauty & Essex carved out 10,000 square feet of Victorian excess at the Cosmopolitan.
You responded by bringing a date to enjoy Oaxacan Old Fashioneds, roasted bone marrow and some post-meal dancing at the DJ-driven Mirror Bar. Needless to say, it was an appropriate response.

You had the most fun you’ve ever had antique shopping.
Primarily because this antique shop doubles as a bar.

You drove too fast, too furiously.
On a 1.5-mile, Formula 1–inspired track, in your choice of Lamborghini, Porsche or Mercedes. Also, apologies for the way we phrased the above.

You embarked on a culinary road trip of the USA.
Without leaving the confines of one barnwood-laden bastion of Americana, filled with East Coast oysters, fried Twinkies and housemade pastrami on rye.

A world-renowned Japanese chef opened his first Las Vegas establishment.
Where Morimoto has made it his mission to: 1) never serve you the same dish twice; 2) make your mouth water while you’re staring at a glass-enclosed room full of elite cuts of meat; and 3) you can find out more for yourself.

You gaped at a two-and-a-half-story glass dragon.
Then you stopped gaping, gambled and consumed more pork belly bao than any one person has business consuming.

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

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