That’s what George Mallory said when they asked why he wanted to climb Everest.
Well, you’re going to say the same thing about a really old oak tree.
Here’s Tree Climbing at Riverside Outfitters in Richmond, whose guides will take you up 100-year-old, 100-foot-tall oaks along the James River, now booking outings for spring.
Most important thing to know: this isn’t like scrambling up the old apple tree when you were a kid. Mostly because there aren’t any limbs you can reach from the ground. So you’ll need some gear, like harnesses and foot ascenders—basically a loop of webbing that goes around your shoe and lets you shimmy up a rope. Great word, shimmy.
You’ll also need some encouragement. So you’ll be pleased to know every climber has their own guide.
Finally, you’ll reach a branch. Might be 50 feet up. Maybe higher. At any rate, you’ll find a limb wide enough to walk on. And then you’ll do exactly that.
Then... you’ll yell like Tarzan. Make yourself one with the wildlife. Let a squirrel sit on your shoulder.
Or come back down and have a sandwich.
Up to you.