$150: Cost of a ticket to President Obama’s official inaugural ball, where the only food was pretzels and Cheez-Its.
35,000: Signatories to a petition urging the White House to build a Death Star.
$850,000,000,000,000,000: Amount the White House estimated such a battle station would cost. (It denied the petition.)
32: Pieces in the lot of items owned by Monica Lewinsky that went up for auction in June.
0: Items that sold.
2: Power tools (a chainsaw and a lawn mower) that a South Carolina man toted around the Lincoln Memorial to keep it maintained during the furlough.
1: Senator, namely Tom Coburn, who fell into a fountain at a charity gala.
1: Nightclub party hosted by Dennis Haskins, aka Mr. Belding of Saved by the Bell.
0: Nightclub parties hosted by Screech, sadly.
$150,000: Amount paid to settle a tax lien at the strip bar Stadium Club.
$40,000: Amount paid in singles.
0: Singles that can be collected by strippers at Donald Trump’s forthcoming DC hotel, after the feds made him promise there’d be no nude dancing.
At least 100: Times that Trump wondered if he could fire the feds.