Oh, come on... like you even need more of an intro than that.
Fine. We’ll go on. Behold the immaculate conception of the HotTug, which is exactly what happens when a few guys in the Netherlands decide to combine the glory of a hot tub with the floatiness of a tugboat (yes, it’s also a boat), available online now.
Seriously though. It’s a floating wood-fired hot tub. It’s got one of those big pipes coming out of it and everything. Smoke plumes. Stainless-steel oven. Outboard motor. The whole nine.
And to get your hands on one, you’ll need to jump online and shoot an email to someone in Rotterdam. Someone who understands your need to fill this thing with water, throw some seasoned firewood into the oven and wage a shock-and-awe campaign on anyone you happen to be sharing a body of water with.
So do that.
Pick your captain’s hat up from the cleaners, round up a few cocktail-forward coxswains and find a lake. You’ll be able to navigate through the water just like you would in any other small boat. Except you’ll be in a hot tub. With smoke spewing out of it. And probably some champagne.
You’re in a hot tub tugboat. You should celebrate.