Let's just say you know how it's done: curate a strategic guest list of carnivorous friends and lobbyists. Sprinkle some Beach Boys on a playlist. Marinate and smoke your meats for hours.
And, just to make sure nothing goes wrong: go ahead and brew the beer yourself.
Which brings us to Shenandoah Brewing Company in Alexandria, a fully equipped brewing nirvana where you can create your own custom keg, just in time for grilling season.
This is basically your average neighborhood brewpub, but Thursdays through Saturdays they throw open the operation to John Q. Brewer (that's you). You'll arrive at your appointed time and be walked through the process by a team of brew gurus, who will present you with nearly 75 recipes and style options. Should that prove overwhelming, you can tinker with your own recipe—like that beef jerky-infused porter you've been meaning to invent.
After that, you'll boil the wort, add some hops and (most importantly) drink beer and eat some chili dogs. (Don't drop any in the wort.) You'll want to give your creation a clever name (we like "Filibuster Bitter"), and then wait a few weeks for it to ferment. Then you'll return to fill up a keg with the stuff, or put your brew into bottles—which, of course, will require you to create a label.
Nothing says "beer" like you as a centaur.