Neil deGrasse Tyson and George R.R. Martin Are Making a Video Game

Here's What It'll Be Like

By Thompson Brandes ·
America’s most beloved astrophysicist and human mustache, Neil Degrasse Tyson, is reportedly guiding development on a new scientific video game that allows users to navigate space and colonize planets. The aptly-dubbed Space Odyssey, currently raising financing on Kickstarter, is aiming to become a gaming experience just as educational as it is fun—making the additional hires of Bill Nye and Neil Gaiman smart and sensible. But wait, what’s that we’re hearing? By god, is that George R.R. Martin’s music?  

[Ed Sheeran, starved and soar from Martin’s cellar shackles, solemnly strums Game of Thrones theme]

The creator of Game of Thrones has also joined the team as one of the project’s world and galaxy builders. But while Martin is certainly capable of the creative task at hand, are we sure his graphic novels of ancient political and sexual fantasy are suitable for an educational gaming experience? Naturally, many questions come to mind concerning the developers at hand. So let’s just drop them right here, and pray to the old gods and the new (and whatever flying toaster oven Neil worships) that they be confirmed.

Isn't space kind of boring unless you're a gifted astrophysicist?
This is where George comes in. In case you’re not familiar, the guy can make up some shit.

But doesn’t that kind of contradict Neil’s whole factual, scientific vibe?
Solid point. Neil probably has a handful of logistical issues with all those white walkers.  

What about the space vessels? Will we be able to explore space on dragonback?
Fingers crossed.

Will there be any facial hair-related conflict during production?
I certainly would hope so.

Will any of the game’s worlds and galaxies hold similar characteristics to today’s vapid global political climate?
I think we’d all appreciate an avenging Starlord Spicer.

Fuck, Marry, Kill: Neil deGrasse Tyson, Bill Nye, George R.R. Martin?
Whoa. Chill.

How much nudity will be readily available in Space Odyssey?
We could have a real serious “GTA” situation on our hands if adolescents just start flying to Planet Ultron for a quick rump in the vessel.

Related: black holes or peepholes?
Like, which will this game have more of? I definitely can’t answer—

No, like, which is cooler…
Oh, black holes.

Will any main characters boast gorgeous heads of hair?
Finally, an easy yes.
Thompson Brandes

Thompson Brandes is getting sucked into another Jurassic Park movie on AMC right now.

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