Around this time every month, the powers that be at Netflix release their list of what’s coming to and leaving the platform in the month to follow. It’s a time to reflect. A time of mourning. A time of hope.
To help you wade through that emotional soup, and help you decide what to watch in the weeks to come, we’re putting together the Monthly Netflix Report Card, a highly scientific, yet mostly arbitrary, very subjective assessment of the streaming giant’s gains and losses.
The final grade will take into account the three biggest gains in the Netflix original movies and shows/comedy specials, as well as the three biggest gains and losses in standard movies and shows/comedy specials. But keep in mind: Netflix is a fickle beast, meaning they could always drop something out of the blue. So don't get mad at us.
Top Three Original Movies/Comedy Specials Coming to Netflix in May
-Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile, the hot Ted Bundy movie starring Zac Efron and Lily Collins, the release of which solidifies Netflix's monopoly on titillating serial killer content. (May 3)
-Wine Country, a Sideways-meets-Girls' Trip reunion of your favorite early-aughts SNL stars Rachel Dratch, Maya Rudolph and Ana Gasteyer. (May 10)
-The Perfection, a twisting-turning supernatural thriller revolving around the budding friendship (and enmity) between an unfulfilled cello prodigy (Allison Williams) and a rising star (Logan Browning). Think: Black Swan, but with a string section and bugs. (May 24)
Top Three Original Series Coming to Netflix in May
-Dead to Me, the coming of which marks the second consecutive month to feature a grief-related Netflix dark comedy series. This one, produced by hitmakers Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, stars Christina Applegate, as a widow hunting down the person who killed her husband in a hit-and-run accident. (May 3)
What/If. To be honest, I have no idea what this show is really about. All I know is that it heralds the second-coming of Rénee Zelweger as some kind of sexy extortionist, and that the trailer looks like a Silicon Valley version of an Eyes Wide Shut orgy situation. (May 24)
-When They See Us, a timely four-part limited series based on the devastating story of the Central Park Five—who were accused of a rape they didn't commit in 1989—directed by Ava DuVernay. (May 31)
Aggregate Grade of Netfix Originals: A. Because what's more impressive than the movies and series listed above are the ones that didn't crack the top 3: a special revival of the classic sketch comedy series, Laugh-In; an adult animated series featuring the voice of Tiffany Haddish; the second season of Spike Lee's sexy and audacious She's Gotta Have It; the fourth season of Lucifer; a rom-com starring Ali Wong and Randall Park; and the final season of Joe Swanberg's anthology series, Easy.
Top Three Non-Original Movies Coming to Netflix in May
-Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. These hold up surprisingly well. (May 1)
-Snowpiercer, the under-seen Bong-Joon ho thriller about a class uprising on a luxury train hurtling through a post-apocalyptic ice world, starring Chris Evans and Tilda Swinton. (May 1)
-Moonlight, Barry Jenkins's moving, Academy Award-winning portrait of a gay black man named Chiron at three pivotal stages of his life. (May 21)
Top Three Non-Original Series Coming to Netflix in May
-Pose, season 1. It's Ryan Murphy's musical series set primarily in the ball culture world of 1980s New York. Catch up before season 2 drops on FX on June 11. (May 10)
-Riverdale, season 3. Come for the romantic fireworks between the hottest Archie comics characters imaginable, stay for the violent gang wars that are...also happening for some reason. (May 23)
-Outlander, seasons 1 and 2. Our guess is you probably don't have a subscription to Starz, so next month is as good a chance as any to get your fill of this steamy period drama.
Aggregate Grade of Non-Originals: A+. The quality of non-original shows, this month, are particularly strong (by which I mean, hot).
Top Three Movies Leaving Netflix in May
-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Re-watch now if you want to feel melancholy and heart-sick. (May 1)
-Sliding Doors, which may not actually be one of the best movies leaving next month, but may very well be the best movie you still haven't seen leaving next month. Pre-Goop Gwyneth Paltrow stars as a just-fired PR girl who we follow on two alternate timelines— one where she makes a train, the other where she misses it. Romance on-and-off trains ensues. (May 1)
-I Know What You Did Last Summer. A '90s teen horror classic. (May 31)
Top Three Series Leaving Netflix in May
-Switched at Birth, seasons 1-5, the Freeform teenage soap about reunited twins. (May 11)
-Bill Nye, The Science Guy Collection 1. No explanation necessary.
Aggregate Grade of Non-Originals Leaving: B-.
The Final Grade
A+. The sheer quantity of originals is staggering, making this one of the most promising months for Netflix bingeing in a long time. Choose your selections wisely...