The Seven Most Desired Objects in America

These Are Too Good to Be Called Gadgets

By Geoff Rynex ·
It might be an insult to say you're not going to be successful in life in 2017 if you don't own these shiny new life-perfecting things of beauty.

But we can't think of any other way to put it. 

Possess the following seven items, or risk, among other uspeakable fates, being the rakish jetsetter not being followed dutifully by his or her self-driving luggage...

1. Travelmate
Pulling suitcases along through a busy airport is the absolute best part of traveling. Psyche? Psyche, indeed. Which is why this suitcase just goes wherever you go, by its own power.

2. Mevo
Let’s say you want to take your Facebook live game to the next level, but don’t want to be on the hook for health insurance for full-time camera staff. This camera is... everyone you need to stage a live production. It even gets multiple angles, by itself.

3. Nixon Mission
Here’s a smart watch designed specifically to keep you updated on when to surf or hit the slopes. Once you do, it’ll make sure everything you do—getting worked included—gets tracked as only a smart watch can.

4. Motiv Ring
As we’ve just established, smart watches can be pretty cool. What they struggle with, however, is being suited to wear all day, and all night, on any occasion. So this is a fitness ring—discreet, handsome, and totally able to track your heart rate and exercise patterns for days between charges.

5. Ember
You hear that slight rustling? That’s the sound of every other thermos and mug ever invented laying down its cards and walking away from the table. Because this particular coffee apparatus keeps said beverage at whatever temperature you want, can be controlled by an app, and lasts all day if used with its coaster.

6. PicoBrew Pico
Gone are the days when you needed an entire... brewery to brew beer. You don’t even actually need the typical trappings of home brewing. You just need this thing, which is about the size of an attractive coffee maker, and takes two hours to create beer.

7. Mellow
You need a table. An attractive, mid-century-looking table. Only, the table you need doubles as a tweed-padded Bluetooth speaker and also charges your USB stuff if necessary. This, coincidentally, is that table, and you can preorder it right now.
Geoff Rynex

If Geoff Rynex is honest, he still doesn't really understand what Bitcoin is.

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