Jolly old potbellied guy?
Has a preternatural command of flying reindeer and a hegemonic relationship to elves?
Well, hate to break it to you, but... he’s not real.
Thankfully, though, this is: the UrbanDaddy Chicago Holiday Gift Guide.
And with gifts ranging from a personalized songwriting service to a fancy box that infuses your drinks with smoke, it’s got something for everyone on your list.
The fun starts... now.
Any pair of shoes would be happy to have this undeniably handsome oxhorn shoe brush. To be clear, though, shoes don’t experience emotions. $65, Abbeyhorn Shoe Brush
Here’s how this new personalized songwriting service works: 1) You tell them what you want your song to be about and who it’s for. 2) A songwriter writes, records, toils, etc. 3) In less than a week, they send you a shareable webpage where people can listen to the song. 4) You and yours live happily ever after. $200, Songfinch
Charles Joly used to tend bar at the Aviary. Now, he’s helping design sleek devices like this one, which allows users to infuse cocktails with hickory smoke. For your one friend who wants to be tending bar at the Aviary. $200, Crafthouse by Fortessa Cocktail Smoking Box
A wise person who is definitely not just us once said, “Great hair starts with a great comb.” Hence, this 1920s sterling engraved comb from your stylish friends at Rider. $75, Vintage Silver and Tortoise Comb
For the Cubs fan who has everything: a dreamy woodblock print of Wrigley Field at night. For the Cubs fan who has nothing: still a dreamy woodblock print of Wrigley Field at night. $80-$180, Wrigley Field Woodblock Print
Lillie’s Q: Smoky, spicy, Alabama-y. Our six-pack of BBQ sauces has it all. You: I know a grillmaster who’d love this. Grillmaster: Thanks. $60, Six Sauce Gift Box
Your favorite cyclist would have to be crazy to ride in the middle of a Chicago winter. Which is why, for their health and well-being, this natty leather helmet is purely decorative. $375, Bicycle Helmet
Chicago’s Empty Bottle is one of the best rock clubs in America. You should probably give this book—featuring anecdotes and interviews by the likes of the Flaming Lips and Interpol—to someone who knows that firsthand. $35, The Empty Bottle Chicago: 21+ Years of Music/Friendly/Dancing
Someone in your life really deserves a two-night retreat at a resort in Kohler, involving a custom massage, horse-drawn carriage rides, decadent chocolate things and dinner inside a magnificent solarium. That someone is probably definitely your mother. $364-$525, Retreat to Kohler Package
This vintage gold-plated brass mobile necklace says everything there is to say, and more. It’s really quite talkative. $92, Mobile Necklace