You wouldn’t expect it from the usually camera-averse and cooler-than-thou celebrity crowd. But after
Ellen DeGeneres snapped that one really famous selfie during the Oscars a couple years ago, everyone with a
SAG card seems to think it’s okay to sidle up and get a picture together. Today, the questionable practice
has its judgment day...
All rise in the hearing of The People vs. Award Show Selfies. Court is now in session and we will now hear opening statements...
Prosecution: Ladies and gentlemen of the court, we can all agree that as far as selfies go, the one Ellen orchestrated was legendary. It featured an ensemble cast to die for: Bradley Cooper, Brangelina, Lupita Nyong’o and her brother... It was singular in its beauty and spontaneity. But that shouldn’t set a precedent for the onslaught of inane selfies being snapped by celebs at the shows, on their way to shows in their cars or sitting idly near Leonardo DiCaprio. There is a place and time for these things and it’s gone too far. It must be stopped.
Defense: Folks, let me ask you this: how many of you have taken a selfie? Let the record show that every single person in this room has raised their hand. Truth is, it’s a fact of life. Dare I say it, but this whole thing smells like a witch hunt.
Prosecution: By no means is the prosecution condemning the selfie. We understand that’s a battle we cannot win—or at least one for another day. Today, we’re focusing on the wanton abandon with which celebrities at award shows—celebrities who, we might add, are already in the spotlight, by virtue of their being celebrities—insist on photographing themselves. It’s redundant, we say.
Defense: Okay, we’ll admit, the selfies taken while in the venue seem a bit overkill. But there’s something to be said for the behind-the-scenes shots—where we might get to join in on the newfound friendship between Denzel Washington and Rebel Wilson. Who knows, maybe Liza Minnelli will weasel her way into this one, too.
Prosecution: Do we want to believe that Rebel Wilson could’ve played Ethan Hawke’s role in Training Day better than he did? Yeah, sure, why not. But a snapshot like the one you described only leaves most people seeing a couple of rich-and-famous people saying, “Hey, look at us, we’re both rich and famous, which is why we’d ever get to hang out with one another in the first place.” They don’t have to rub it in.
Defense: Wethinks the prosecution doth protest too much. If you can’t laugh with them, or at them, then perhaps you ought to just stay off your Twitter feed.
Prosecution: All right, but let us both agree that we draw the line at the selfie stick.
Verdict: It is decreed: the selfies may stay, in good taste, sans selfie stick.
All rise in the hearing of The People vs. Award Show Selfies. Court is now in session and we will now hear opening statements...
Prosecution: Ladies and gentlemen of the court, we can all agree that as far as selfies go, the one Ellen orchestrated was legendary. It featured an ensemble cast to die for: Bradley Cooper, Brangelina, Lupita Nyong’o and her brother... It was singular in its beauty and spontaneity. But that shouldn’t set a precedent for the onslaught of inane selfies being snapped by celebs at the shows, on their way to shows in their cars or sitting idly near Leonardo DiCaprio. There is a place and time for these things and it’s gone too far. It must be stopped.
Defense: Folks, let me ask you this: how many of you have taken a selfie? Let the record show that every single person in this room has raised their hand. Truth is, it’s a fact of life. Dare I say it, but this whole thing smells like a witch hunt.
Prosecution: By no means is the prosecution condemning the selfie. We understand that’s a battle we cannot win—or at least one for another day. Today, we’re focusing on the wanton abandon with which celebrities at award shows—celebrities who, we might add, are already in the spotlight, by virtue of their being celebrities—insist on photographing themselves. It’s redundant, we say.
Defense: Okay, we’ll admit, the selfies taken while in the venue seem a bit overkill. But there’s something to be said for the behind-the-scenes shots—where we might get to join in on the newfound friendship between Denzel Washington and Rebel Wilson. Who knows, maybe Liza Minnelli will weasel her way into this one, too.
Prosecution: Do we want to believe that Rebel Wilson could’ve played Ethan Hawke’s role in Training Day better than he did? Yeah, sure, why not. But a snapshot like the one you described only leaves most people seeing a couple of rich-and-famous people saying, “Hey, look at us, we’re both rich and famous, which is why we’d ever get to hang out with one another in the first place.” They don’t have to rub it in.
Defense: Wethinks the prosecution doth protest too much. If you can’t laugh with them, or at them, then perhaps you ought to just stay off your Twitter feed.
Prosecution: All right, but let us both agree that we draw the line at the selfie stick.
Verdict: It is decreed: the selfies may stay, in good taste, sans selfie stick.
