Let’s run a little test on you.

Two arms: check.

Chest: check.

All right, then. We’re going to prescribe Twillory, a new maker of fine cotton objects that cover the top portion of your body (they’re calling them “shirts”), online now.

This story begins with the fantastically named Ricardo Goldschmidt. He comes from a long line of shirtmaking Goldschmidts. They first started making them in Austria in 1892. Now they’re in the states, and this is happening.

So visit their site and find shirts. Denim twill shirts with cutaway collars. Sky-blue oxford button-downs. Shirts. They design and manufacture all their fabrics from scratch, and it’s the good stuff. Egyptian cotton. Sea Island cotton. Hoboken cotton. (Okay, we made that last one up.)

And they’ve added some handy features. Like an eighth button to keep it tucked in during unplanned tennis showdowns (which... happens?). And shorter tails so you’ll stay put-together when there’s something rum-y in your hand and going untucked is just the right thing to do.

Listen, and the rum will tell you.