If we had some really gigantic pasta news, you’d want us to tell you, right?

No?

Come on, this is for your own good.

Andrew Carmellini’s got a new pasta spot for you.

See?

Now enter Bar Primi, an endearing little bi-level pasta joint that looks like the kind the folks behind the Dutch and Lafayette would create, because they did. It’s open now on the Bowery.

This was Peels. RIP Peels. But if that had to go, be glad it was replaced by this rustic homage to the miraculous possibilities of shaped wheat flour and the dates they inspire. Think Locanda Verde with more of a nonna’s kitchen vibe.

We’ll be direct about strategy: arrive with a taste for Italian wines (they’re all Italian here) and the subject of a charm offensive in tow, get seated upstairs (preferably in the corner by the window) and try the rigatoni.

Or do completely different things. Italian-ish cocktails: sure. The fontina-stuffed meatballs are best-in-the-city contenders, the roast beef sandwich (just called The Sandwich) is a must at some point—and you’ve got a few of those signature monster Carmellini wraparound banquettes just waiting to envelop large dinner parties in deep red-brown leather.

Decisions, decisions.