It seemed like a weird vow at the time.
But hey, times change.
As beautifully evidenced by Tank Town USA, a five-acre course where you’re handed the keys to an actual steel-armored military tank and given permission to crush any cars in your path, now open six miles from downtown Blue Ridge.
Picture a monster-truck show. All those big, powerful vehicles crushing all those little, less-powerful vehicles. Yep. This is just like that. Except you’re the one driving the big one. And it’s a tank. And that automatically makes you the new best person on earth.
Make a reservation for sometime this weekend and head north. Then, pick a ride. That 17-ton FV432 armored personnel carrier should do (they’ve also got bulldozers and excavators, but you know). Hop in. Spend a few minutes learning the controls. Then spend a minimum of 10 minutes maneuvering it over dips, bumps and the occasional carelessly placed sedan.
And if you’re interested, they’re also licensed to sell and deliver these things right to your doorstep.
Though that seems like a pretty impractical thing to do.