So here’s what you’ll need:
Wait, no. That was fall 1991.
This season, you need a guy with a chain saw.
To come to your house and build you a wine rack out of an oak tree.
Oh, and also some sweaters with elbow patches.
But about the guy in your living room with a murder weapon...
Meet Malworks, a one-man operation that creates all sorts of custom rustic fixtures using only a chain saw, taking orders now.
Say hello to Mal McEwen. He’s the chain saw guy (though with a name like that, he didn’t really have a choice). He makes things. Sixteen-foot-totem-pole kinds of things. Gazebo kinds of things. Using some wood, some elbow grease and a chain saw.
So perhaps there’s something in this world you desire. A grandfather clock. A new dresser. A maple-wood replica of the Lincoln Memorial with your face on Abe’s body. Well, just give Mal a call. Tell him what you’re looking for, and he’ll carve it. Either at his place or in person. Yup, just you, Mal and his chain saw... alone... in your house.
Oh, and also, he’s available for birthday parties.
Yes, he can do ice sculptures.
No, he can’t do balloon animals.