We can’t help you.
Partly because three of you are dead and the other of you is a fake rabbit.
But mostly because you already understand the importance of a good bow tie.
For everyone else, well, there’s someone you need to meet.
Presenting Brier & Moss, a locally based online outfit that exists for the sole purpose of selling you summery, Southerny, dapper bow ties, available now.
So, these guys. They’re from the area. All they do: eat, sleep and drink bow ties. The kind of bow ties someone like you would look real sharp in. Silk things. Striped things. Things that say you’re a gentleman... who may or may not also be in a barbershop quartet.
Either way, go to this site, check out the wares and buy something nice for your neck. If you’ve got a black-tie affair on the calendar: great, they’ve got something black. If you’re going to Steeplechase: perfect, they’ve got something covered in bugles. And if you require a comically large tie to wear to clown college: yeah, they don’t have any of those. But shoot them an email. They’re always open to collaborate on an original.
Or a bolo.