Tweet and Lowdown

The Best Celebrity Tweets of 2009

When the book of history is written, 2009 will go down as the year Twitter went from Silicon Valley novelty to megaphone for history's most voiceless and oppressed group: Hollywood celebrities. So we've done our part by compiling their finest 140-word utterances, and rated who's worth following in 2010.

Tweeter: P. Diddy
Tweet: "Taken a bubble bath holdin a oscar!! God is great Let's go people"
Follow? Absolutely. The only things more prevalent than the typos are the moments of utterly inspirational awe and wonder.

Tweeter: John Mayer
Tweet: "I need a pressure sensitive toilet seat that shuts off my wi-fi so I stop buying so many apps on the can. This is getting pricey."
Follow? Yes, barely. Every personal revelation about celebrity girlfriends is answered by semi-creepy overshare posts like this one. Still, it's Mayer's most tolerable format yet.

Tweeter: Miley Cyrus 
Tweet: "I'm the happiest I've ever been & for that my family's SO grateful. So for LAME bloggers that don't know what they're talking about SHUT UP!" 
Follow? N/A—sadly. This post was Miley's final tweet. We'll miss her finely articulated support of the Iranian opposition movement.

Tweeter: Ashton Kutcher
Tweet: "watching my wife steam my suit while wearing a bikini. I love God! … shhh don't tell wifey http://twitpic.com/2bj58
Follow? Unfollow. Sadly, links to random news bites far outnumber Twitpics of his bikini-clad better half.

Tweeter: Oprah Winfrey 
Follow? Unfollow. This was her very first tweet. And they didn't get better.

Tweeter: Shaquille O'Neal
Tweet: "Weee weee wha weee weee wha weee wee weeee what's song is this" 
Follow? Probably not. Depends on your tolerance for cutting-edge yo' momma jokes and onomatopoeia.

Tweeter: Snoop Dogg
Tweet: "mad cuties up on twizzle who want to holla first boww woooww." 
Follow? No. Plugs for his next album drop dwarf gems of outdated Snoopspeak.

Tweeter: Neil Patrick Harris 
Tweet: "My first tweet, peeps. I apologize in advance for my slow learning curve. Nice to (sort of) meet you. It's amazing how quickly 140 charac" 
Follow? Yes. It's like Doogie's computer diary, if he had a character limit and a sense of humor.

Tweeter: Tracy Morgan 
Tweet: "The wait is over! The black Svengali has arrived! I'm on the street turning good girls bad and getting them pregnant!!!" 
Follow? Follow. This is Twitter's raison d'être.

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