Like a guy who makes catapults for a living.
Welcome to Absinthe & Flamethrowers, an indispensable guide to causing a little mischief (and not losing an arm or a leg in the process), written by a professional catapult-builder, out now.
First, though, a warning: the first few pages—mostly devoted to why you should go about embracing a life of danger—are a little slow. So make a quick pit stop at the chapter about not blowing yourself up (helpfully titled "The Most Important Chapter in the Book"), and skip straight to the good stuff, starting with a section on "The Minor Vices."
There, you'll learn a handful of Bond-worthy skills: lighter tricks (like "the flip") for your chivalric repertoire, the best places in the world to drive fast (Dubai, the Isle of Man), and how to pull off a brilliant hoax (namely, do it on a slow news day—something tells us Balloon Boy's dad had an advance copy). You'll also be able to brush up on knife-throwing, handling a bullwhip—inspired, naturally, by the "Rawhide" scene in The Blues Brothers—and unleashing your inner MacGyver.
Or at least your inner MacGruber.