Okay, maybe not. But if you ever had, it would've looked like this.
Feast your eyes on the Rhine's newest gem, the Kameha Grand Bonn, a baroque fever dream of a hotel housed in an old power plant, opening November 15 and taking reservations now.
Imagine a grand European hotel adorned with an extra dose of crazy: think urn-shaped golden pillars, ghostly photomurals and sci-fi chandeliers. You'll eat dinner under a shining flax-colored zeppelin, then take in the sunset from a rooftop infinity pool, before bedding down beside floor-to-ceiling windows less than a hundred feet from the banks of the Rhine (i.e., streaking distance).
As for where you'll be bedding down, they offer an array of themed rooms, including a music-themed space called the Beethoven Suite. We recommend staying down the hall, though, in the Game Suite: it's decked out with a pinball machine, dartboard and putting green—in short, everything you need for a fulfilling life.
If you count the minibar.