Which is why you've long dreamed of making and losing your fortune on the stock market, wheeling and dealing like some sort of unholy cross between Warren Buffett and Gordon Gekko. Only without all the hard work or insider trading. And maybe using Twitter…
Hey, it was only a matter of time. Introducing PollyTrader, the first-ever Twitter-based stockbroker, in public beta now.
Yep, the service that has helped you do everything from clothe yourself and order paninis to overthrow the Iranian government (well, almost) can now be used to help you build a portfolio to rival Jim Cramer's—minus all the pesky yelling.
Begin by surrendering your email address and a password (the site uses E*Trade for transactions right now, but we're told it'll play nice with other online brokers soon), and then start tweeting the moves you want to make to "@pollytrade." So if you tweet "@pollytrade buy 10 shares AAPL," for instance, suddenly you own ten shares of Steve Jobs' iPhone emporium. Before you know it, you'll be buying and selling Google, attempting a hostile takeover of GE and cornering the market on pork belly futures.
And think: your posts will go live between the usual riveting updates on what you think of the new Wilco album and what you ate last night.
Which reminds us: you should've gone with the rib eye.