That's why we're fascinated with Let Simon Decide and Hunch, two new sites that aim to solve just these sorts of quandaries. (Both are beta testing now.)
In the spirit of science, we put our UD Labs® team on the case, testing them both with some of life's most pressing questions. The results:
Q: SHOULD I WEAR BOXERS OR BRIEFS?
Hunch's Answer: Briefs
Simon's Answer: Briefs
UD Labs Analysis: While Hunch was considerate enough to ask about our offspring ("Are you currently trying to make a baby?"), we're concerned that neither considered the Sasha Grey–approved alternative: boxer briefs. Winner: Tie
Q: SHOULD I QUIT MY JOB?
Hunch's Answer: "Yes! Get out of there alive! Better start looking though"
Simon's Answer: "Stay at your job," but try getting another perspective
UD Labs Analysis: Have you been outside lately? No one should quit their job. Winner: Simon
Q: SCARLETT JOHANSSON AND MEGAN FOX HAVE BOTH ASKED ME ON A DATE. WHICH ONE SHOULD I ACCEPT?
Hunch's Answer: Try Meagan Good instead
Simon's Answer: Scar-Jo
UD Labs Analysis: Really, there's no wrong answer here, and yet Hunch managed to find it. Winner: Simon
CONCLUSION: Simon seems to have the slight edge here. Of course, you could always flip a coin.