Does “haha” seal the casket on the prospect love? Is a “hahaha” a precursor to a best selling memoir-worthy summer romance? Dating has always been an exercise in living with uncertainty, but with every additional way to communicate comes a dozen new ways to interpret each communication. But does anyone have academic credentials in the field of interpreting full lines of emojis yet? Is there a DeGrasse Tyson for that yet?
Until there is, you've got me, and I'm here to help you decode your digital interactions with a potential bae. Please feel free to refer to the below "what are we doing right now?" guide to modern romance any time your five closest friends are unavailable to serve on a panel to analyze your text exchanges.
- Saving their name in your phone. Their real name, not just “tinder Tom” or “tequila soda."
- Tagging them in a meme. This morsel of '90s nostalgia reminded you of them? How romantic!
- Both of you staying off your phones while in each others' presence. That's some good old fashioned courting.
- Moving from texting to Gchatting/Hangouts. It's more direct and something about it indicates they're folding you into their daily routine.
- Posting a photo of them on your own social media. There's no going back after this. I mean, you can archive or delete the photo of course but you are putting this information out to your loyal followers that you are off the market.
- Making Spotify playlists for one another.
- Deleting dating profiles, perhaps even together like some romantic jump off of a cliff.
Goin' To The Chapel and Such
- Showing one another your childhood homes of Google Maps. It’s the new “look at my baby pictures.”
- Friending family members. If you're opening yourself up to their uncle's Buzzfeed quiz results, you've committed.
- Exchanging passwords. While not every relationship reaches this level of intimacy, granting your significant other an all-access pass to your digital life is diamond-level symbolism.