Entertainment

Grading What's Coming to and Leaving Netflix in July

This Is the Monthly Netflix Report Card

By Sam Eichner ·
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Netflix

Around this time every month, the powers that be at Netflix release their list of what’s coming to and leaving the platform in the month to follow. It’s a time to reflect. A time of mourning. A time of hope.

To help you wade through that emotional soup, and help you decide what to watch in the weeks to come, we’re putting together the Monthly Netflix Report Card, a highly scientific, yet mostly arbitrary, very subjective assessment of the streaming giant’s gains and losses.

The final grade will take into account the three biggest gains in the Netflix original movies and shows/comedy specials, as well as the three biggest gains and losses in standard movies and shows/comedy specials. As months go on, we’ll look to improve our criteria as much as possible. And keep in mind: Netflix is a fickle beast, meaning they could always drop something out of the blue. So don't get mad at us.

(Check out the full list of what's coming to and leaving the platform here.)

Top Three Netflix Original Movies/Comedy Specials Coming to Netflix in June

-The Legacy of a Whitetail Deer Hunter, a new comedy from the Eastbound and Down crew, Danny McBride and director Jody Hill, starring none other than Josh Brolin (an underrated comedic actor) as a celebrity deer hunter who plans a special episode around a trip with his estranged son. Check out a clip below. (July 6)

-How It Ends, which is more or less like if Meet the Parents were interrupted by a seismic, apocalyptic event, involving very inclement weather but maybe some other strange shit, too. Starring Theo James and Forrest Whitaker, as his badass father-in-law, the two join forces to rescue James's pregnant wife, who's stranded on the other side of the country. This looks like fun; also, like Whitaker is gunning for his late-career, Liam Neeson-esque aggrieved, crazy, vengeful Dad moment. (July 13)

-The Comedy Lineup: Part 1, featuring a lineup of 8 up-and-coming comedians performing 15 minute sets. It's much more manageable than an entire hour. And you can say you were early on certain comedians when they hit it big(ger). (July 3)

Top Three Netflix Original Series Coming to Netflix in July

-Samantha!, the first Netflix original series from Brazil, centered around an '80s child star staging her comeback as a  spotlight-hungry adult, with the help of her ex-husband, himself a former soccer player. It looks...pretty good? Then again, I'm always here for a good faded star/comeback show. (July 6)

-Orange Is the New Black, season six, Jenji Kohan's Emmy-winning series, about women in a maximum security prison, returns after what some considered to be its worst season, with a new prison, a new inmate and, perhaps most importantly, some new writers. (July 27)

-Terrace House: Opening New Doors, season three. It marks the return of this particular iteration of the hit Japanese reality show—think: The Real World, but more relaxed, and with a panel of Watch What Happens Live!-like celebrity commentators—the first two seasons of which are on Netflix now, waiting to reel you during a particularly bad hangover. (July 31)

Aggregate Grade of Netflix Originals: C+. Yes, we've neglected to mention several more high-profile movies, like the sci-fi thriller Extinction and the David Spade-Nat Faxon comedy Father of the Year, but this is still a bit of an off month for Netflix, despite the welcome variety of new offerings—particularly because of the lackluster previous season of one of the platform's biggest shows, Orange Is the New Black

Top Three Movies/Comedy Specials Coming to Netflix in July

-Happy Gilmore, Adam Sandler's best (best? best) movie, about an aggressive hockey player-cum-golfer, who loses in a fist fight to Bob Barker. (July 1)

-Her, Spike Jonze's melancholic sci-fi romance starring Joaquin Phoenix, the voice of Scarlett Johansson and Joaquin Phoenix's high-waisted pants, which resonates now more than ever. (July 29)

-Jurassic Park, The Lost World: Jurassic Park and Jurassic Park III, all of which return in time to for a marathon viewing before or after you see Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. (July 1)

Top Three Series Coming to Netflix in July

-The Sinner, season one, Jessica Biel's critically-acclaimed psychological thriller, about a woman struggling to determine why she committed an act of startling violence. (July 2)

-Shameless, season eight. It's the long-running Showtime comedy-drama about the gritty, mischievous Gallagher clan, starring Emmy Rossum and William H. Macy. (July 28)

-Blue Bloods, season eight. What, you haven't watched the first seven seasons of Blue Bloods yet? (July 1)

Aggregate Grade of Non-Originals: B. The movie lineup is strong as always, and The Sinner, whose second season is set to drop on USA this summer, is very much worth catching up with. 

Top Three Movies/Comedy Specials Leaving Netflix in July

-Scary Movie, which is always good for a lazy rewatch. (July 1)

-Michael Clayton, Tony Gilroy's under-watched, '70s-style Academy Award-winning 2004 legal thriller, starring George Clooney in a performance history will look kindly upon. (July 1)

-Hurricane of Fun: The Making of Wet Hot. If you're a fan of Wet Hot American Summer, or just watching Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler and other really funny people hanging out, partying and goofing off, this behind-the-scenes documentary is very much worth the watch before it's gone for good. (July 30)

Top Three Series Leaving Netflix in July

-The Real Husbands of Hollywood, seasons 1-5. Bummer.

Nothing else!!!

Aggregate Grade of Non-Originals Leaving: B+. But only because we haven't even included the wealth of other great movies leaving Netflix in July, from Tropic Thunder, to Beerfest, to every Lethal Weapon, to Wild Hogs (just kidding; Wild Hogs will not be missed).  

The Final Grade
C+. On the outset, it's hard to say whether the new movies will stand out, like last month's Set It Up, or blend in with the bulk of Netflix's forgettable original films. The shows are promising, too, but there's nothing super buzz-worthy to justify a higher grade—particularly when we're losing so many rewatchable movies.

Sam Eichner

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

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