Around this time every month, the powers that be at Netflix release their list of what’s coming to and leaving the platform in the month to follow. It’s a time to reflect. A time of mourning. A time of hope.
To help you wade through that emotional soup, and help you decide what to watch in the weeks to come, we’re putting together the Monthly Netflix Report Card, a highly scientific, yet mostly arbitrary, very subjective assessment of the streaming giant’s gains and losses.
The final grade will take into account the three biggest gains in the Netflix original movies and shows/comedy specials, as well as the three biggest gains and losses in standard movies and shows/comedy specials. As months go on, we’ll look to improve our criteria as much as possible. And keep in mind: Netflix is a capricious beast, meaning they could always drop something out of the blue that they don't announce beforehand.
Top Three Netflix Original Movies/Comedy Specials Coming to Netflix in June
-Set It Up, a kind of Parent Trap-meets-Horrible Bosses romantic comedy wherein two overworked New York assistants (the talented Zoey Deutsch and Glen Powell) conspire to get their high-powered bosses (Taye Diggs and Lucy "yes, you're reading this right" Liu") to fall in love, so as to ease their own burden. Eventually, the two assistants also quite possibly fall for each other. Pete Davidson plays a best friend. This looks fun. (June 15)
-Us and Them, a Chinese blockbuster about a couple who meets on a train ride home and reunites on a flight a decade later. So, in other words, it's more or less an updated Chinese-language version of Before Sunset. The cinematographer here is also responsible for Wong Kar-wai's modern classic, In the Mood for Love. (June 22)
-Tau, a sci-fi thriller about a street-smart grifter held captive in a futuristic smart house for a fatal experiment. Admittedly, we're no so sure about this one. That said: Academy Award winner Gary Oldman is in it. (June 29)
Top Three Netflix Original Series Coming to Netflix in June
-GLOW, Jenji Kohan's popular '80s ladies wrestling series, starring Golden Globe-nominated actress Alison Brie and Marc Maron, returns for a second season. There's still plenty of time to catch up on season one...(June 29)
-Cooking on High. It's a competitive cooking show, but the twist is—and you might've guessed this—all the cooking involves weed. (June 22)
-Kiss Me First, a Black Mirror-esque British sci-fi drama about a lonely high school girl who befriends another in the hidden paradise of virtual reality world—but with deleterious consequences for her real life. (June 29)
Aggregate Grade of Netflix Originals: B+. There's something new for everyone this month, whether it be foreign language romances or weed-based entertainment. GLOW, in particular, has been a big success for Netflix (and deservedly so). Solid month.
Top Three Movies/Comedy Specials Coming to Netflix in June
-Thor: Ragnorak (June 1) and Star Wars: The Last Jedi (June 26), two giant franchise films from talented directors, Taiki Waititi and Rian Johnson.
-The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, Terry Gilliam's mind-bending fantasy, featuring an under-appreciated Heath Ledger performance. (June 15)
-The Departed, Martin Scorsese's now-classic crime drama, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg and Jack Nicholson, in what might turn out to be the last great role of his storied career. (June 1)
Top Three Shows Coming to Netflix in June
-Portlandia, season 8. Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein's hipster-skewering sketch show is always worth catching up with, particularly for those who don't pay for IFC. (June 10)
-Grey's Anatomy, season 14. We assume you'll really care about this if you care about this, and really not care about this if you don't. (June 16)
-Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, season 5, which just finished airing this month on ABC. (June 17)
Aggregate Grade of Netflix Non-Originals: B. Equally solid list here, despite nothing super remarkable on the TV-side.
Top Three Movies/Comedy Specials Leaving Netflix in June
-My Left Foot, a biopic featuring an indelible Daniel Day-Lewis performance. Watch it while it lasts. (June 1)
-Training Day, the gritty cop drama starring Ethan Hawke and Denzel Washington, at his very best. (June 1)
-Men in Black. This requires no further explanation. (June 1)
Top Three Shows Leaving Netflix in June
-Baby Daddy, seasons 1-6. If you haven't heard of this Freeform sitcom...that's okay, neither have we. It appears to be as silly as it sounds. (June 21)
-Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown, seasons 1-8. Huge loss for anyone planning on going on vacation or living vicariously through Mr. Bourdain. (June 16)
Aggregate Grade of Non-Originals Leaving: B+. Every month, we'll lose some classic re-watchable movies; such is the way of the world of Netflix. But this month, we're losing Anthony Bourdain—a true Netflix staple. Let us pour out a hot bowl of tasty noodles in his honor.
The Final Grade
B-. We've got a strong, diverse list of stuff coming our way—more varied, perhaps, than most months. But compared to previous months, we're losing just a little bit more than usual. So get all your Anthony Bourdain eps in while you can. And maybe give Training Day another watch over this long Memorial Day Weekend.