Vince Staples Set Up A GoFundMe For His Haters

It's A High Price To Get Him To STFU

By Kady Ruth Ashcraft ·

Vince Staples is no stranger to fame. His 2016 album Big Fish Theory was met with critical acclaim, he’s collaborated with Odd Future, Gorillaz, Mac Miller, and his song BagBak was featured prominently in the trailer for the record breaking Black Panther

But, as we all know, fame has its downsides. Specifically, one’s meteoric rise comes with a dusty, starry trail of haters. And Vince Staples has them. Has he chosen to ignore them? No. He’s given them a platform. Specifically a crowdfunding platform, where he’s promised, should they raise $2 million, to shut the fuck up forever.

Staples’ GoFundMe includes a videowhere he says he’s heard the haters’ complaints that he has “no energy on stage” and that it sounds like he’s “rapping on robot video game beats.” But if his haters can raise the $2 million then he’ll shut the fuck up forever, which means no songs and no interviews. 

Arguably, the funniest part of the GoFundMe is his additional promises to move to Palmdale and buy a Honda. Is there anything that screams “I’m no longer famous” than a mid-size economy car in a  generically named suburb? The only thing that comes close to rivaling it is Shia Labeouf's "I'm not famous anymore" paper bag hat, which is a little on the nose.

Staples just concluded a national tour with Tyler, The Creator, which should this campaign get funded, will have been his last tour ever. As of press time, the haters have raised $786. Godspeed.

Kady Ruth Ashcraft

Kady Ruth Ashcraft is a writer, comedian, filmmaker, and Amtrak Princess. Follow her on twitter @kadyrabbit and tweet her pictures of your pets.

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