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The Best Miranda Quotes Cynthia Nixon Can Use for Campaign Slogans

"I Only Give Head to Get Head.”

By Kady Ruth Ashcraft ·
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Just as we’ve begun to accept that Oprah will not be the leader of the free world, an unlikely individual has risen from the hellscape of Hollywood to put her name in the political ring. Former Sex and The City star Cynthia Nixon is reportedly gearing up to challenge New York governor Andrew Cuomo. While she hasn’t officially announced her candidacy, people are speculating she would run as a progressive Democrat against Cuomo for the September 2018 primary. She’s long been involved with New York politics, especially as an education activist, and has been vocal about the need for “better Democrats” not just more Democrats.

As Nixon quietly assembles a political team of de Blasio’s former campaign managers, Carrie Bradshaw’s iconic adage keeps swirling in my mind: “I couldn’t help but wonder…” What would a Miranda governorship look like? Arguably the toughest and most determined woman on the iconic HBO show, Miranda is also the most qualified to run for office. She’s a Harvard Law graduate, ambitious single mother, fiery red-head (of which we need more of in public office, in my personal opinion), and an unapologetic feminist. No offense to any of the other leading ladies, but the closest any of them come to matching Miranda’s experience level is that once Carrie dated city treasurer and kinkster Bill Kelley (played by John Slattery.)

If there’s anything Sex and The City taught me, it’s that a great one liner and/or pun is enough to grab people’s attention. Now usually that then led to sleeping with the person, but politics and sex are close enough. So here are the best Miranda one liners that Cynthia can use as possible campaign slogans.

“I want to enjoy my success and not apologize for it.” - Put this on a red hat and I'll wear it down Fifth Avenue. Confidence and enthusiasm is what makes great leaders and energizes people to support them. 

"If there were unlimited apartments in Manhattan, we'd all be single forever." - This is perfect for discussing the housing crisis in the city. There aren't unlimited apartments in Manhattan, unfortunately, and it's forcing women to leave the workforce and marry rich. It's a crisis and only Miranda can save us from. She'll help us all find affordable housing with hot NBA doctor neighbors who live upstairs. 

“I drink coffee, have sex, buy pies and enjoy battery operated devices.” - Got it? She's a simple woman who has her shit together enough to run the state. Plus, think of all the free time she'll have when her assistant can bring coffee and pies to her. Leaves so much room for fixing the MTA and pushing for a higher minimum wage. 

"She was a lawyer. He was a sandwich." -This iconic voice over about Miranda is a great one to use against Cuomo. Just like a sandwich he is unable to properly govern and we could use a Harvard gal in office. With an insult like that, he'll surely be left speechless. 

"I only give head to get head.” - She's blunt and to the point. There's no wasting her time when it comes to getting down to business and we need that in a politician. She'll play by the rules but know she's doing it to bring maximum benefit to the people. There's not bribing her out of something unnecessarily extra. 

As the Instagram account, Every Outfit On Sex And The City, so often says, we should all be Mirandas. That includes Cynthia Nixon when she decides to announce her candidacy. 

Kady Ruth Ashcraft is a writer, comedian, filmmaker, and Amtrak Princess. Follow her on twitter @kadyrabbit and tweet her pictures of your pets.

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