Entertainment

Grading What's Coming to and Leaving Netflix in March

This Is Your Netflix Monthly Report Card

By Sam Eichner ·
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Photo: David Giesbrecht/Netflix

Around this time every month, the powers that be at Netflix release their list of what’s coming to and leaving the platform in the month to follow. It’s a time to reflect. A time of mourning. A time of hope.

To help you wade through that emotional soup, and help you decide what to watch in the weeks to come, we’re putting together the Monthly Netflix Report Card, a highly scientific, yet mostly arbitrary, very subjective assessment of the streaming giant’s gains and losses.

The final grade will take into account the three biggest gains in the Netflix original movies and shows/comedy specials, as well as the three biggest gains and losses in standard movies and shows/comedy specials. As months go on, we’ll look to improve our criteria as much as possible.

(Check out the full list of what's coming to and leaving the platform here.)

Top Three Netflix Original Movies/Comedy Specials Coming to Netflix in March

-The Outsider, a thriller about an American WWII POW (Jared Leto) in Japan who, freed by his Yakuza cell mates, is forced to join the Japanese mob. Following the release of its trailer, some critics have chastised the moviefor its "figurative whitewashing," noting that the filmmakers created a role for a white actor that appropriates Asian culture. In spite or because of the controversy, this one might be worth checking out...(March 9)

-The Legacy of a Whitetail Deer Hunter, a new comedy from producer extraordinaire Scott Rudin, director Jody Hill and actor/screenwriter Danny McBride (both of Eastbound & Down fame), about a star of hunting videos "who struggles to connect with his 12-year-old son on a wilderness trip." Josh Brolin is also involved somehow. This should be good. (March 16)

-Roxanne Roxanne, a Sundance-approved biopic of Roxeanne Shanté, the '80s-early '90s hip-hop/rap star (and member of the Juice Crew), produced by Pharrell Williams and Forest Whitaker, and co-starring Mahershala Ali. (March 23)

Top Three Netflix Original Series Coming to Netflix in March

-Marvel's Jessica Jones, season 2, the much-anticipated return of the gritty, female-forward superhero series starring Krysten Ritter. (March 8)

-Love, season 3, the final season of the Judd Apatow-produced, slow burn LA relationship comedy starring Paul Rust and Gillian Jacobs. (March 9)

-Collateral, a politically-charged limited series starring Carey Mulligan as a stubborn London detective tasked with finding out the truth behind a seemingly random act of violence against a Muslim pizza delivery man, from Oscar-nominated screenwriter David Hare (The Hours, The Reader). (March 9)

Aggregate Grade of Netflix Originals: A-. Love and Jessica Jones both have a devoted fan base, who I'm sure are looking forward to their return. And while The Outsider seems like it could be a substantial misfire for Netflix, The Legacy of a Whitetail Deer Hunter and Roxanne Roxanne could very well be winners.

Top Three Movies/Comedy Specials Coming to Netflix in March

-Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the Jason Segal-Mila Kunis rom-com with indelible performances from Russell Brand and Bill Hader. It's hard not to re-watch this one. (March 1)

-Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters 2, which are always worth revisiting. (March 1)

-A gaggle of strong indies that includes the under-appreciated Joel Edgerton thriller, The Gift, Up in the Air, Adventureland and Duncan Jones's Moon, the spiritual precursor to his new Netflix original movie, Mute. (March 1)

Top Three Series Coming to Netflix in March

-Law & Order Special Victims Unit: The Eighteenth Year. We can't believe it's been on this long either. And yet, we kind of can?

Aggregate Grade of Non-Originals: B-. The movies are solid, per usual, but we're not getting anything bingeable TV-wise.

Top Three Movies/Comedy Specials Leaving Netflix in March

-Jaws 1-3 and Jaws: Revenge. If you had plans to do a Jaws marathon, now's the time. (March 1)

-Memento, one of Christopher Nolan's most mind-fuck-y (and best) films to date. (March 1)

-The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, perhaps Wes Anderson's quirkiest film (which is saying something). (March 1)

Top Three Series Leaving Netflix in March

-Archer, seasons 1-7. A big loss for current and future Archer fans. (March 14)

-The Killing, seasons 1-2, an underrated AMC drama. (March 13)

-Friends with Benefits, season one, an occasionally funny NBC comedy from the normally funny duo behind (500) Days of Summer and the producers of Arrested Development. (March 31)

Aggregate Grade of Non-Originals Leaving: B+. Some rewatchable movies are leaving, for sure, but Archer is a big hit for anyone into crass cartoon comedies about substance-abusing secret agents with mommy issues.

The Final Grade
B-. We've got some solid originals to look forward to, as well as the return of Jessica Jones and Love, but on the non-original side, we're losing a bit more than we're gaining. 

Sam Eichner

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

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