In an era where political affiliation is an unprecedented romantic deal breaker, it was really only a matter of time before the world was graced with the likes of TrumpDating, which is—you guessed it—a dating site aimed squarely at Trump supporters. The site, which is plastered with stock photos of white people smiling and notably only accepts straight people, promises to "make dating great again" by helping people find "the America first partner of [their] dreams." Because nothing's more romantic than nationalism, amiright?
Despite the fact that it launched just this week, the site has already made headlines for various reasons, including having a special designation for "unhappily married" members and using the (now removed) image of a gay-bashing convicted child abuser on its homepage. One might argue that they were just trying to be forthcoming about the kind of men most likely to frequent a Trump-themed dating app, but hey, I get it. Also, as writer Alexandra Petri noted on Twitter, how did no one think to use the tagline "Make America Date Again" for this thing? I mean, come on. That's an easy one.
While I patently refuse to volunteer my email to such an organization even for the purposes of journalistic investigation, intrepid reporters including Arwa Mahdawi at The Guardian and Katie Rife at The A.V. Club have done just that, with the latter writing: "Once logged in as a 'straight woman,' you will meet such eligible bachelors as GodEmperor2020, who believes Trump is a god as well as an emperor, Hot4Ivanka, who is hot for Ivanka, and a gentleman from Louisiana who just wants to 'grab you by the heart.' (Really.)"
Mahdawi also notes in her report on the site that, once logged in, you have to pay a cool $16.99 to read any of the (sure to be poetically written and heart-achingly romantic) messages you may receive, money that would certainly be better spent on, say, the purchase of canned foods and bottled water to place in your bunker for the impending collapse of society as we know it and/or the rapture, depending on which kind of crazy you are.
Aside from the low-hanging comedic fruit that is mocking the romantic pursuits of Trump supporters, there's another big silver lining to TrumpDating, which is that sequestering MAGA-ers in their own whitewashed dating pool significantly lowers the chances that the rest of us will inadvertently end up on a date with one of them. Yay?