Around this time every month, the powers that be at Netflix release their list of what’s coming to and leaving the platform in the month to follow. It’s a time to reflect. A time of mourning. A time of hope.
To help you wade through that emotional soup, and help you decide what to watch in the weeks to come, we’re putting together the Monthly Netflix Report Card, a highly scientific, yet mostly arbitrary, very subjective assessment of the streaming giant’s gains and losses.
The final grade will take into account the three biggest gains in the Netflix original movies and shows/comedy specials, as well as the three biggest gains and losses in standard movies and shows/comedy specials. As months go on, we’ll look to improve our criteria as much as possible.
Top Three Netflix Original Movies/Comedy Specials Coming to Netflix in February
-Seeing Allred, the timely documentary about the divisive, larger-than-life attorney Gloria Allred, an outspoken women’s rights activist famous for representing some of the women who accused Bill Cosby of rape, one of the woman who accused Roy Moore of sexual assault, a former Apprentice contestant who accused Donald Trump of harassment and many others. (February 9)
-When We First Met, Workaholics’s Adam DeVine’s boisterous rom-com about a friend-zoned dude who gets a few more cracks at winning over the girl of his dreams when he stumbles upon a time machine. (February 9)
-Mute, the director Duncan Jones’s long-anticipated follow-up to the critically adored sci-fi indie, Moon, starring Aleksander Skarsgard as a Berlin-based mute bartender in search of his missing girlfriend. Paul Rudd and Justin Theroux both have what appear to be idiosyncratic supporting roles. And it’s set 40 years in the future. So...this should be interesting. (February 23)
Top Three Netflix Original Shows Coming to Netflix in February
-Ugly Delicious, season one, celebrity chef David Chang’s new spin on the tried-and-true Anthony Bourdain travel show formula. (February 23)
-The Joel McHale Show with Joel McHale, season one, which, by all indications, is somewhat of a redux of the snarky comedian’s long-running E! talk show, The Soup. I’m here for it. (February 18)
-Altered Carbon, season one (pictured). A high-priced prestige-y drama, this is probably Netflix’s first big bet of 2018. It looks good, though: set in a dystopian future, technology has made it possible for humans to record their lives onto a computer chip, which they can “resleeve” into new bodies once their old bodies die. Spoiler-that’s-not-a-spoiler: not everything is hunky-dory in this new world. (February 2)
Aggregate Grade of Netflix Originals: A+. They’re taking some big swings in a variety of genres this month—and this preview doesn’t even include Snoop Dog’s new show, or the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy reboot.
Top Three Movies/Comedy Specials Coming to Netflix in February
-Five American Pie movies, including the original, the sequel and three spin-offs: Band Camp, The Book of Love and The Naked Mile. They all score high on my rewatchability matrix, which is not a real thing. (February 1)
-Ocean’s 11, 12 and 13. Because you’ll need to prepare for Ocean’s 8 this summer sometime. (February 1)
-Kill Bill Vols 1 and 2. Arguably, two of Tarantino’s most rewatchable movies. (February 1)
Top Three Shows Coming to Netflix in February
-Imposters, season one, Bravo’s scripted dark comedy about a Heartbreakers-like con artist who uses her feminine wiles to steal from wealthy men. (February 7)
-Bates Motel, season five, the most recent season of the prequel of sorts to Alfred Hitchock’s Psycho, starring Freddie Highmore as a young Norman Bates. (February 20)
Aggregate Grade of Netflix Non-Originals: A-. The shows aren’t great, but the franchise movies are.
Top Three Movies/Comedy Specials Leaving Netflix in February
-Project X, the giant high school party movie you’ve probably found yourself sucked into at one point or another. (February 1)
-Hannibal Buress specials (Animal Furnace and Live from Chicago). (February 5)
-The Longest Day, the John Wayne Oscar-winning World War II epic from 1962. (February 1)
Top Three Shows Leaving Netflix in February
-An Idiot Abroad, seasons 1-3, Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant’s cult-ish travel-comedy series. (February 19)
-Family Guy, seasons 1-8. Always good, but always on TV, anyway. (February 14)
-Burn Notice, all seasons. You must be crushed. (February 15)
Aggregate Grade of Netflix Non-Originals Leaving: D+. With the exception of maybe An Idiot Abroad, which might be hard to find elsewhere, we’re not really losing much.
The Final Grade
A. This might be the best month since we started doing the Netflix Monthly Report Card, buoyed by a diverse roster of ambitious original content—movies, docs and scripted series. That is, unless you’re a maniacal fan of both John Wayne and Project X. Which would be strange.