Please Chill Out On Calling This Weather A "Bomb Cyclone"

It's Cold But We Are Better Than This

By Kady Ruth Ashcraft ·

If you’re anywhere along the east coast right now, there’s a 100% chance you’re Googling how many space heaters in a 10 x 10 ft room is a fire hazard. It’s really fucking cold. I think there’s a soft guideline on this site to not curse if it isn’t necessary but the temperature outside makes it not only necessary, but critical to survival. When you step outside you have no choice but to mutter expletives under your breath because if you keep your mouth still it will freeze shut and you’ll never be able to open it again.

What isn’t giving us respite from the sheer pain of ice wind hitting your face is how the weathermen (and women, ahem!) are describing this terrible weather. The media has taken to calling what we are experiencing a “bomb cyclone.” Among the headlines I’ve read just this morning are, “‘Bomb cyclone’ to blast East Coast before polar vortex uncorks tremendous cold late this week,” “What is 'bombogenesis' or a 'bomb cyclone'? Monster storm moves up the East coast,” and “US braces for explosive and bone-chilling 'bomb cyclone'.”

Please take a cue from the temperature and chill out, guys. You can’t just introduce the phrase “bomb cyclone” the same day our president is in a button-dick-measuring contest with North Korea over nuclear arsenals. We’re all vulnerable right now. Can’t our little burst of polar weather be called something cuter like the  “The Big Freez-ey.” 

Calling it a “bomb cyclone” is overly sensational and just starting 2018 out with unnecessary drama. Like, yes it’s incredibly cold and I’m more aware of how much people spit on the sidewalks because it’s all frozen and disgusting, but we have the power to not incite meteorological warfare with our words. I'd also settle for polar vortex again because at least then we got a bunch of fun Amy Poehler memes. Weatherpeople of the world, please consider our current conditions when you name these storms and phenomena. The weather is only getting more and more extreme, and we're in this for the long haul, so let's start out slow and not jump immediately to bomb cyclones. Thank you. 

Kady Ruth Ashcraft

Kady Ruth Ashcraft is a writer, comedian, filmmaker, and Amtrak Princess. Follow her on twitter @kadyrabbit and tweet her pictures of your pets.

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