Yesterday's Alabama Senate race provided us with a clear winner (Doug Jones) and a couple of clear losers (Roy Moore, the GOP, the many white people totally chill with a man banned from malls for picking up underaged girls.) But there was one person, well creature, that was unfairly caught in the middle of the political clash: Roy Moore's horse, Sassy.
We, as a nation, met Sassy mere hours after we were rocked from Moore's wife smugly declaring they had a "Jew attorney" but failed to mention their equine friend. Moore triumphantly rode Sassy into the polls to vote and the internet, already piping hot, burst into flames.
bitch u can't say gay people are sick and then show up to an event via horse
— Michael Hartney (@MichaelHartney) December 12, 2017
There’s nothing funny about Roy Moore being a candidate for the U.S. Senate...but there is something funny about him struggling to ride his horse named Sassy (seriously) set to the song “Rhinestone Cowboy” pic.twitter.com/MKWP12c7Ys
— joel tyler (@joeltyler_) December 12, 2017
What's wonderful about such specifically odd moments like "a pedo Senate candidate arriving on horseback" is that very niche corners of the internet are givien their 15 minutes of stage time. Yesterday, horse-twitter had its day. Not only couldn't they endorse him as a candidate, they were outraged by his horseback-riding etiquette.
the way he's holding the reins is legitimately bizarre and that horse is confused as fuck https://t.co/EAUbfKAOMz
— Anna Merlan (@annamerlan) December 12, 2017
WHY IS YOUR TOE LEVEL WITH THIS HORSE'S KNEE, HAVE YOU NEVER EVEN LOOKED AT A PERSON SITTING ON A HORSE BEFORE YOU IMBECILE
I HOPE THIS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE HORSE THROWS YOUR CHILD-MOLESTING ASS INTO A DITCH pic.twitter.com/5cqhXZoVss
— kaye toal, dragon age evangelist (@ohkayewhatever) December 12, 2017
Homosexuality is infinitely more natural than Moore attempting to ride a horse. #horsetwitter #SaveSassy
— Kathleen Gage (@kathleengage) December 13, 2017
The ridiculing didn't just stop when Roy showed up on Sassy. When it was announced he lost, more Sassy memes came out in droves.
— dieworkwear (@dieworkwear) December 13, 2017
This is literally the only acceptable image for that *record scratch* ur prob wonderin how I ended up here joke pic.twitter.com/qNwqumbNVm
— Rachel Wenitsky (@RachelWenitsky) December 12, 2017
Sassy the horse, upon finding out that Roy Moore isn't going to be going to DC but will instead be staying home. #SaveSassy #ThankYouAlabama pic.twitter.com/FtwvLSa3tR
— Denny Loggins (@DerpFlannel) December 13, 2017
Sassy headline today!#LastJedi
Oh and no Moore Roy. #DOUGJONES #Alabama pic.twitter.com/rvRHTfgVTo
— Thomas Roberts (@ThomasARoberts) December 13, 2017