Entertainment

Donald Trump Allegedly Didn't Even Decide Who to Fire on The Apprentice

Finally, a Scandal Trump Supporters Will Actually Care About

By Sam Eichner ·
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Photo: NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images
Seeding distrust of the press in the hearts and minds of the American people?

Dangerous.

Grabbing women "by the pussy”?

Unforgiveable.

(Probably) colluding with a foreign power, then perpetually lying about (probably) colluding with a foreign power, then also firing an FBI director who was tasked with investigating your campaign's (probable) collusion with a foreign power? 

Indefensible.

But defrauding American reality TV audiences?!?!

This is the last straw, Donnie.

Yes, according to Celebrity Apprentice contestant and Martin Short lookalike Clay Aiken, Donald Trump did not decide who got fired on The Apprentice. Apparently, producers fed Trump lines through a dummy phone. Thus making him a puppet, a useful idiot controlled by an oligarchy far more intelligent than himself.

Oh, the irony. Oh, the soul-crushing, mind-bending, life-sucking irony!

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

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