Entertainment

What Would Jon Snow Do For Work Today?

Sexy Librarians, Online Pimping and Bitchy Fashion Blogging

By Hadley Tomicki ·
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The inhabitants of Westeros are bloodthirsty, power-mad and entirely without scruples. They'd fit perfectly into today’s corporate culture.

All of which got us thinking, what would everyone’s favorite GoT characters be doing for work in the present day. Which got us writing about it. And here’s where we see the people of Westeros employed in 2017:

Cersei Lannister: CEO, Goldman Sachs

Daenerys Targaryen: Central character, Keeping Up with the Targaryens

Jon Snow: The breakout talent from a British boy band


Sansa Stark: Editor-in-chief, Refinery29

Arya Stark: Doing consecutive life sentences and running the yard at Bedford Hill maximum security prison

Lord Petyr Baelish aka Littlefinger: Founder, Backpage.com

Lord Varys, Master of Whisperers: Super bitchy fashion blogger

Hodor: Bouncer, the Gilded Lily

Melisandre, the Red Woman: Working at a library, sexily

Davos Seaworth: Learning to read at that library, just not so sexily

Joffrey Baratheon: RNC Chairman

Tormund Giantsbane: King-Beyond-the-Wall-Beyond-The-Taco-Bell

Bran Stark: Oscar Pistorius, minus the homicide charges

Tyrion Lannister: Brand ambassador, Arbor Gold wines

Jamie Lannister: The new Trivago guy

Sam Tarwell: Founder of a national non-profit for abused women and children

Greyworm: The next winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race

Ramsay Bolton: Martin Shkreli

Brienne of Tarth
: Power forward for the Los Angeles Sparks

Theon Greyjoy: Eternal bottom in a Prague sex club

Yara Greyjoy: You mean Yara Greyjoy, world-famous EDM DJ

The Mountain: Now going by his legal name and appearing in the next Fast & the Furious sequel

Catelyn Stark: Wedding planner

Hadley Tomicki lives in Los Angeles. He is probably going nowhere on the 10 Freeway this very second.

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