Having a memory?
Knowing how to spell?
Looking straight ahead while walking?
Reading shampoo bottles when you took a shit?
Going to dinner with people who looked you in the eye and had stuff to say?
Getting to a restaurant and realizing it was closed and not being able to look up another restaurant to go to, so, like, you had to just walk around aimlessly until you found something that looked decent?
Having to ask an actual human friend whether or not Jason Statham was in Gnomeo & Juliet?
Not being able to share that GIF with all your bros at once, because there was no group cha, or GIFs?
Not looking up things before trying them?
Not having email on your phone and not being expected to answer emails all the time because you didn't have email on your phone?
Not being constantly handed a phone with the disclaimer that this is, like, the funniest vid ever?
Experiencing something beautiful or sublime or funny without that small yet nagging voice in the back of your head pleading with you, saying, "Dude, you better Snap this?"
When you used to have to have real friends to get a ride to the airport?
When you actually knew peoples phone numbers by heart?
When "app" was short for "Jack Daniels chicken wings"?
When rom-coms had way more ridiculous plotlines because you couldn't just, like, google someone while that someone excused herself to go to the bathroom?
When telling everyone you "met online" still had a small amount of shame attached to it?
When you couldn't call bullshit on someone unless you actually knew the answer too?
When you actually had to verbalize pick-up lines in your actual voice to an actual person who would then have to actually respond in real time?
When kids played with toys their parents purchased at a toy store?
When "swipe" wasn't a commonly used word?
When your ego wasn't so frequently bruised by a dearth of women deciding they don't like you based on my physical appearance, ugh, god, why do I keep doing this to myself?