Entertainment

These Are the Most Trumpian Bed Sheets Ever

Nothing Says “Billionaire Populist” Like Sleeping on 24-Karat Gold

By Sam Eichner ·
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In a bid to out-douche President Trump’s $100 million gold penthouse, a residential-style hotel in Milan has recently begun offering its guests the chance to sleep in 24-karat gold bed sheets.

Comprised of approximately 40% gold, 60% cashmere-and-silk-based yarns and 100% unchecked privilege, only 100 sets of these gaudy monstrosities exist. If guests or buffoonish heads of state wish to take them home, they can do so—for just 200,000 euros. (A real steal, if you’re in the miniscule percentage of old rich people considering buying gold bed sheets.)

We imagine these sheets would make a welcome addition to Trump’s gold plane, gold motorcycle and gold blu-ray of Stephen Gaghan’s Gold, which is a movie about gold that I assume the President watches everyday between Fox & Friends and Hannity. Whether or not they would convince Melania to share a bed with her husband, however, is anyone’s guess.

Although ours is a definitive “ew, no.”

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

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