Things to do for March 22, 2017

There’s Enough Spring Stuff in Here to Last You Till Summer

Vital Information on Bro Tanks, Levitating Plates and an Adults-Only Resort

By Sam Eichner

And now, six life-improving facts await you...

Your Plate Can Levitate, if You Want It To
FACT #1

Your Plate Can Levitate, if You Want It To

From the wizards behind the levitating cup, it’s a new collection of floating housewares, from plates to vases, that serve the same exact purpose as other plates and vases, all while magically* (*scientifically) defying the forces of gravity. They’re pretty cool.

The Sartorial Trial of the Century Is at Hand
FACT #2

The Sartorial Trial of the Century Is at Hand

Spring break is upon us. Naturally, we decided to put one of its most controversial emblems—the bro tank—on trial. The defense used Ryan Gosling as evidence. The prosecution called a Professor Emeritus of Shirts to the stand. Merrick Garland fake-adjudicated. So, yeah. Things got weird.

You Can Have as Many Candle Massages and Margaritas as You Like Here
FACT #3

You Can Have as Many Candle Massages and Margaritas as You Like Here

A spectacular new adults-only, all-inclusive resort is now open in Riviera Maya. Come for the Cuban cocktails, beachside Mexican restaurants, swim-up bar and unlimited candle massages. Stay for the fact that those meddling kids aren’t allowed inside.

Spring Began Yesterday. Spring Style Begins Here.
FACT #5

Spring Began Yesterday. Spring Style Begins Here.

Yesterday was the first day of spring. Which is our cue to remind you that our Spring Style Guide is still available for your browsing pleasure, should you require tips on rainy-day uniforms, a collection of light-washed jeans or simply some great pictures of people using umbrellas.

Here’s That Erik Estrada Photo Essay You Requested
FACT #6

Here’s That Erik Estrada Photo Essay You Requested

Where do we go when we die? Are we living in the Matrix? And what did it mean to be Erik Estrada in the late ’70s? These are some of life’s most significant questions. With the release of the CHiPs reboot this Friday, we attempted to answer one. You can probably guess which.

Sam Eichner likes literature, reality television and his twin cats equally. He has consistently been told he needs a shave since he started growing facial hair.

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