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A Field Guide to Dad Jokes

Before You Pull That Finger This Father’s Day, Read This

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With Father’s Day coming up this weekend, you’re on the hook for at least a phone call—at most, you’re in for an entire afternoon of banter/electronics troubleshooting. And whether he’s the outdoorsman type or an armchair historian, he’s sure to bring out at least one of his favorite moldy chestnuts of wisdom in the process.

So in the name of paternal appreciation, and of grinning and bearing a dad joke or two, we’ve put together this handy guide to navigating the inevitable zingers from dear old Dad.

The Outdoorsman Dad
Natural Habitat: Backwoods, deep woods, tents, bait-and-tackle shops.
Potential Joke Triggers: Boats, hunting caps, s’mores, deer.
Go-To Dad Joke: “How do you save a deer during hunting season? You hang on for deer life.”

The Sports Fanatic Dad
Natural Habitat: Stadiums, sports bars, tailgates, the couch.
Potential Joke Triggers: Full counts, missed free throws, fumbles, John Madden’s voice.
Go-To Dad Joke: “How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb? Fore!”

The Armchair Historian Dad
Natural Habitat: Libraries, museums, that armchair.
Potential Joke Triggers: The History Channel, Flag Day, the latest copy of Smithsonian.
Go-To Dad Joke: “Who made up King Arthur’s Round Table? Sir Cumference.”

The Car Nut Dad
Natural Habitat: The garage, the driveway, under the hood.
Potential Joke Triggers: Timing belts, sputters, grocery store parking lots, gas prices.
Go-To Dad Joke: “At this rate, I’m going to have to sell the car for gas money.”

The Foodie Dad
Natural Habitat: Williams-Sonoma, fine restaurants, the organic produce aisle.
Potential Joke Triggers: Marked-up wine, grill lines, funny aprons.
Go-To Dad Joke: “German sausages. They’re the wurst.”

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