1. “Hope you're ready for six straight hours of the Grateful Dead."
2. “I, too, would run a half marathon in a full business suit just to prove a point."
3. “One day we'll all be heading to Coachella to walk on the moon."
4. “Self. Lacing. Shoes. Marty McFly would be losing his mind right now."
5. “They're about to start using pizza delivery robots, so..."
6. "If the candidates were deli sandwiches, I'd be all for the Bernie Sanders."
7. “Jimmy Kimmel caught on pretty quickly to DJ Khaled's keys to success."
8. "And that's when I decided to endorse Gwen Stefani on LinkedIn..."
9. “Yeah, I saw SeaWorld's going to stop breeding orcas. About time, really."
10. “You have to get off. It's the world’s first concert inside of a volcano, and we're going."