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“If That Ikea x Kanye Collaboration Came to Fruition, I Swear I’d Redo My Entire Apartment.”

10 Things You’ll Overhear Today

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Welcome to Wednesday. We spent the morning reading the entire Internet for the 10 bits of news most vital to your being. Then we made up a quote about each one that you might ponder, overhear or maybe even deploy over the course of the day. We call it The Cooler, and we suggest sprinkling it liberally over your daily conversation.

1. “I’m thinking about a new career as a food-model artist.”

2. “Think twice before you shit-talk northwestern Minnesota.”

3. “It’s a good thing you somehow convinced me to take that waltz class last fall...”

4. “Well, we’re just going to have to choose between Soho House and the new Tommy Hilfiger hotel membership.”

5. “Yeah, I heard about that study linking carbs to lung cancer. Most depressing thing I read all day.”

6. “If that Ikea x Kanye collaboration came to fruition, I swear I’d redo my entire apartment.”

7. “It’s time they realize the age of the big-budget porno has passed.”

8. “Personally, I’d rank North by Northwest higher than The Third Man—but that’s just me.”

9. “Aaron Sorkin’s To Kill a Mockingbird does not disappoint.”

10. “I knew that guy who went to Burning Man once, and came home convinced he was a unicorn. Good dude.”

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