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“I Never Thought I’d Hear Jennifer Garner Tell Me to ‘Go the Fuck to Sleep.’”

10 Things You’ll Overhear Today

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Welcome to Thursday. We spent the morning reading the entire Internet for the 10 bits of news most vital to your being. Then we made up a quote about each one that you might ponder, overhear or maybe even deploy over the course of the day. We call it The Cooler, and we suggest sprinkling it liberally over your daily conversation.

1. “Come to think of it, you have been looking a little bit like Kendrick Lamar lately.”

2. “Billy Reid’s horse pillow would look perfect in our living room.”

3. “The Wall Street Journal’s got surprisingly good taste in vintage-inspired menswear.”

4. “Not gonna lie, I’ve been looking into moving to Canada, too.”

5. “They’re all scenes from iconic films rewritten to pass the Bechdel test. Yep, just as good as it sounds.”

6. “Has it really been 20 years since Trainspotting came out?”

7. “I never thought I’d hear Jennifer Garner tell me to ‘go the fuck to sleep.’

8. “Safe to say we all missed the grand majority of Shakespeare’s puns.”

9. “Berlin has taught us that clubbers want to go to clubs run by clubbers. Amongst other things.”

10. “The penthouse restaurant and club would go right there, in the cobra’s gaping jaws.”

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