Entertainment

Put It All on ’16

These Things Will Definitely Be Happening in 2016. Probably.

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We are not prognosticators. We are not a bunch of Nostradamuses. (Nostradami?) We are not even one single Long Island Medium. We don’t even know what we’re going to have for lunch. (Our best guess: turkey Reuben.)

But we are doing this: laying odds on what will happen in the world next year. Politics. Entertainment. Culture.

It may be pure hubris at this point, but we’re willing to take that chance.

100:1—Trump-Carson 2016
250:1—Trump-Bush 2016
10:1—Trump-Shkreli 2016

5:1
—Clinton-Sanders 2016
50:1—Sanders-Clinton 2016
Pretty, pretty good odds—Sanders-David 2016

17:1—Chris Rock performs magic tricks while hosting the Oscars.

10,000:1—Chris Rock strips down to underwear while hosting the Oscars.

1:10,000—Chris Rock is way better than Neil Patrick Harris when it comes to hosting the Oscars.

1,000,000:1—Chris Rock gives an Oscar to Miss Colombia by mistake.

1,000,000:1—Steve Harvey asked back to host Miss Universe.

15:1—Ben Affleck tapped to direct a big-screen adaptation of The Nanny.

2:1—Jon Snow brought back for season 6 of Game of Thrones.

50:50—Jon Snow killed in season 6 of Game of Thrones.

12:1—In an effort to upgrade respective images, Subway and Chipotle engage in battle to sign Pizza Rat as spokesperson.

50:50—Adele makes a triumphant return to drunk tweeting by end of year.

25:1—She does it by April.

5:1—Not paying $12 for a juice becomes hot new financial health craze of 2016.

3:1—Marijuana replaces kale as favorite green; people brace for weed Caesar salads.

500:1—The Walter Palmer Kitten Rescue opens.

30:1—Artisanal e-smoke becomes the new artisanal cocktail.

25:1—Vanessa Redgrave cameo in Downton Abbey series finale.

25:1—Sir Ian McKellen cameo in Downton Abbey series finale.

Surprisingly high—Lil Jon cameo in Downton Abbey series finale.

Most popular searches of 2016:

2:1—Royal Baby
5:1—Rio Olympics
1:1Downton Abbey’s Dowager Countess Doing “Turn Down for What”

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