Entertainment

This Is the End

The End Is Near. Because, Come On... This Stuff.

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The world is filled with all manner of good news, quality items and first-rate people.

But sometimes we come across things that are none of the above. Things that, at best, deserve a little good-humored mockery and, at worst, could be harbingers of the end times. To be perfectly dramatic about it.

So below, seven current products and happenings that make you sit back and say, “But... why?”

It’s 1991 again. Because Point Break, that important movie about an undercover FBI agent infiltrating a gang of extreme-sports-loving criminals, requires a reboot for modern times. Oh, sorry. Spoilers.

Water gets its own tasting flight. A Dublin café introduced a water tasting experience wherein customers can pay to sample four different waters. Common tasting notes include “wet” and “water.”

Men are festooning their beards with glitter. That’s right, men. Plural. More than one. No good can come from this.

Selfie stick, meet selfie arm. A Japanese gentleman devised an ingenious way to take inconspicuous selfies. It simply requires a prosthetic hand and extra-long sleeves. Because you’d hate to look ridiculous out there.

Outsourcing your breakup. Dumping someone is difficult. Painful. Time consuming. So the Breakup Shop will do it for you via breakup emails, texts and even phone calls. It’s really quite altruistic.

MTV labels a generation. They’re calling post-2000 teens “Founders” because... they don’t know a world without social media and just want to stand out. Kurt Loder is turning over in his easy chair.

Someone green-lit a Donny Deutsch sitcom. What the world needs now is an ad executive and CNBC newsman giving comedy a go. He could’ve just self-published a book on Amazon. 

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