[Ring. Ring. Ring.]

Hello?

Hi. With whom am I speaking?

Why, this is 2015. Who’s this?

Hi, 2015. This is the ’70s.

The 1970s? I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific.

The ’70s! As in Halston and Liza and Mick at Studio 54. That ’70s.

Uh... are there a lot of chrome trim and mirrored surfaces around you?

Yes.

And are you calling me from a brown faux-alligator-skin rotary desk phone?

What else would I be calling you from?

Oh, ’70s! How we’ve missed you and your decadent calling devices.

[1970s Alligator Desk Phone]