Gourd to Death: Meet Donald Trumpkin and other massive pumpkins painted to look... vaguely like celebrities.
Trail Off: And here, a statistician has created the world’s greatest brewery road trip, hitting 70 of Men’s Journal’s highest-rated breweries. Bless you, random statistician.
Pass the Bar: This anonymous interview with two bartenders in NYC gets into public sex, brawls and clueless tourists. Obviously.
Oh, the Horror: Medium takes a deeper look into the story behind the Elisa Lam case. Read it and why it inspired this season of American Horror Story might make more sense. Or not.
Get the Bill: Just this newly animated Bill Murray interview from 1988 on the pros and cons of being rich and famous. It’s just as good as it sounds.
Welcome to Flavortown: Chrissy Teigen does the Guy Fieri look arguably better than Guy Fieri.
Last Night Right Here: Jonathan Franzen tells Colbert a bedtime story that may or may not be a metaphor for something; Conan reveals the most popular candy in America.