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Hex Appeal

When Sexy Costumes Really Were Sexy

By Chris LaMorte ·
E8d799899b42282555e7b786ecb87c8ea4efb4a911 PhotosSexy Old-Hollywood Costumes
These kids and their damn sexy Halloween costumes today. So, so dumb.

Sexy nurse: boring, trite, degrading to Miss America contestants.

Sexy pizza rat: it’s funny, but c’mon, you don’t really think it’s sexy. Not the rat part, at least.

Sexy Donald Trump: we haven’t seen it yet—but only because we’re worried about our Google search history.

Anyway, too many “sexy” Halloween costumes, not enough real sex appeal. It’s not like the old days in Hollywood. A starlet would perch herself upon a giant pumpkin in a Paramount back lot, show a little leg, maybe put on a witch hat and then let magic happen.

This slideshow brings it all back. Look at all those pumpkins and witch hats. Oh, yeah. And legs.

Chris LaMorte’s favorite lapel: peak. Favorite bulldog: French. Can you offer him a glass of champagne: yes. Often mistaken for: Zach Galifianakis. Often mistakes himself for: Bradley Cooper.

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