Food

There Will Be Blood

The Best Bloody Mary Skewers in Town

It’s the weekend. That means: football. That also means: brunch. That also means: Bloody Marys. That also means: Bloody Mary skewers. Oh, and hey, while we’re on the subject of Bloody Mary skewers, here are five pretty great ones around the city.

THE GRID

The Chicago-Style Hot Dog

The Skewer: Vienna beef hot dog. Poppy seed bun. Pickle spear. Sport peppers. Tomato. Onion.
The Bloody Mary: A mix doctored with celery salt and relish. Also: mustard. So yes: hot dog dunking allowed.
Why You Want It: It beats going to the Wiener Circle.

HOMESLICE

A Whole Slice of Cold Pizza

The Skewer: One pepperoncini, one folded pepperoni and a big, cold slice of pineapple-and-Canadian-bacon pizza.
The Bloody Mary: A pint of their housemade secret recipe. Careful, it’s a bit spicy.
Why You Want It: It is a full day’s allowance of vodka and pork.

HEADQUARTERS BEERCADE

A White Castle Slider

The Skewer: Peppers, asparagus and cheese, topped with a cheeseburger direct from White Castle.
The Bloody Mary: A housemade mix with basil-and-garlic-infused vodka.
Why You Want It: Think of the Instagram love.

PERENNIAL VIRANT

A Stick of Elk Jerky

The Skewer: It’s like a Slim Jim, except it’s made of good old-fashioned jerkified elk meat.
The Bloody Mary: Comes with Russian vodka. Or jalapeño tequila. (Aka the Bloody Maria.)
Why You Want It: Frankly, it’s been a long time since you’ve had elk with jalapeño tequila.

JAKE MELNICK’S

The World’s Hottest Pickle

The Skewer: A pickle soaked in Jake Melnick’s XXX sauce, which is made from super-hot red savina and bhut jolokia peppers.
The Bloody Mary: The XXX Bloody Mary. It’s also very, very hot.
Why You Want It: If this doesn’t wake you up, you should probably check for a pulse.