Rocky Road

A Real-Life Training Montage

None Rocky Balboa.

Greatest boxer of all time.

Well, greatest fake boxer of all time.

His right hook: legendary. His toughness: unrivaled. His infamous workouts: typically set to some sort of fantastically ’70s song.

Hmm, that gives us an idea.

Cue The Rocky Montage Workout, a 60-minute circuit-training program modeled after that most classic of classic sports movie montages, taking reservations now.

Meet Christa. For the purpose of this exercise, she’s going to be your Burgess Meredith (we assume you won’t mind). She’s a former boxer. Turned personal trainer. Also, she just happens to own a copy of the Rocky soundtrack.

So say you’re looking for a change from your typical cardio workout. Send her a message. Pick a day and an hour. Then, meet her inside the Triple A. Hey, look, there’re some steps. And look, Christa just put “Eye of the Tiger” on a stereo. Steps... “Eye of the Tiger”... you know what to do...

Over the next 60 minutes, Christa will put you through a series of rapid-fire workouts. All set to Rocky music. You’ll jump rope. You’ll shadowbox. You’ll run arena steps.

And when you’ve come to the end of your montage, Christa will be waiting with some hard-boiled eggs and protein shakes. Go ahead, scream “Adrian.”

Just finish chewing your eggs first.

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