A) Your last name rhymes with Schmobama.
B) Your last name is Schmobama. (We enjoy having someone like you around.)
C) You’re interested in a quick little getaway. Nothing big, you’ll just need a hotel suite, a new suit, a chauffeur and some Secret Service help...
Give the all clear to The Presidential Package at the SLS Hotel, your chance to live like the president for a night (without all the stressful finger-on-the-button stuff), available now.
Book this, and you probably won’t need to put out one of those “Do Not Disturb” things on your door handle—because your own hulking security guard will be standing outside, Secret Service–style. That’ll probably get the point across.
And the Presidential Suite here, if you haven’t seen it, it’s pretty nice—full wet bar, TVs hidden behind smoked glass... and let’s just say there’s enough room in the shower for any guests who can get past Hans. (That’s what you’re calling him. Hans.)
You’ll be busy, though, because this package includes a custom suit at Neiman Marcus, a chauffeur to get you there (and anywhere else you like) and an intimate 40-person dinner at SAAM, that secret little nook hidden downstairs behind the Bazaar, so you can thank your international coterie of glamorous financial contributors.
Guess they heard about the shower.