You’ve got a knot in your back.

A crick in your neck.

And the other day on set, your tear ducts were emptying way off cue.

Time to enroll in The Lifestyle by Scott Crawford, a customizable day of absurdly comprehensive restoration for your body, mind and acting muscles, available now at Hotel Bel-Air and the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Think of this as a spa day and boot camp—this guy Scott is your trainer/life coach/concierge, and after a conversation about what ails you, he’ll have you set up with a jam-packed day of extreme LA leisure that could look a lot like this. (And yes, these are all real options.)

8:15am: Arrive at Hotel Bel-Air. Ponder life choices that brought you here. Enter Hotel Bel-Air.

8:30am: Some eggs at Wolfgang Puck. You’re going to need the protein.

9:30am: Tai chi with swans. Yes, he’ll get you exercising next to the hotel’s famous Swan Lake. You’re in Bel-Air. Go with it.

11am: Hop into chauffeured town car. It’ll take you to your rigorous outdoor hike.

12:30pm: Deep-tissue massage in the spa. Town car rides make you tense.

2pm: Steak frites at Wolfgang Puck. Massages make you hungry.

3:30pm: Spin class. This is LA. There had to be spin class.

4:30pm: Steam room. Spa. Shower. Dramatic monologue rehearsal. Because up next is...

5pm: Meeting with Scott’s favorite acting coach. Consider motivation for crossing room. Perfect melancholy glance toward imaginary horizon. Toss off thundering soliloquy.

Your thundering-soliloquy muscle was a little tight.