By which we mean you need to break things. Hard. Welcome to Sarah's Smash Shack, open late tonight until the Election Day results are in.
It's a bit of a drive, but the distance is made up for with some old-fashioned ingenuity—you'll stock up on fragile supplies, head toward one of the "break rooms," hook up your iPod to the sound system and start...breaking everything. You can choose to shatter a tall stack of plates, sure, and even deface them with personalized messages beforehand. But you could also pick up a glass frame for that photo you brought...could be of an ex, a boss or a certain moose-hunting rogue. Possibilities are endless.
Or you could also go for the mystery box, full of ten surprise items with only one shared quality—they're all about to be pulverized, as payback for months of phony stump speeches, outlandish lies and Joe the Plumber's record deal. Whatever you select, the goal is simple. Hurtle against steel wall. Rejoice. Repeat. After, of course, you've donned the proper protective gear. (Safety first.)
You buy it, you break it.